This last year has been full of self discovery for me. It has been one lesson after the other on life in general. How to love people, how to find the courage to trust, how to take other people's expectations with the grain of salt, how to know what is right for me and stick with it, how to go against the crowds to stand up for what you know is right.
But now it seems it's time for me to learn yet another lesson, but I am not sure what it is. I feel like I am at a cross-roads in my life. One I really don't like. Do I keep going and keep what is important to me, but not completely fulfilling me? Or do I veer and risk a lot of heartache and losing what is important to me to possibly gain fulfillment. Neither option seems appealing. I honestly don't know what is more important to me yet.
I have spent quite a lot of time by myself over the last few days. Reflecting, praying, asking for guidance....crying. I feel weary, discouraged, confused and quite frankly....terrified. But I do know God is here, he hears my prayers, he knows my heart...even when I can't explain it to anyone else, he notices my tears and hold them in his hand. Even in my despair, he meets me and gives me hope, he has plans for my future, he holds my head above the water and I always know that He is what is most important to me. In the scheme of eternity, everything else is just details.
